Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
