I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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