I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
