I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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