New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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