; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
