she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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