My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
