Quick, to the slutcave!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize