woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize