Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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