I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
