Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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