Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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