no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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