Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
dude i'm inner monologue high
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
