bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
