talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize