He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
