love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize