Its about making memories worth repressing
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
