meet me or not, i'm out of control
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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