would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You should frame my arrest warrant.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize