my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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