If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
