Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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