we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
