I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
