it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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