just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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