Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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