that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
