The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Don't EVER smell your tampon
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
