I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
