hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
