I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
COCAINE IS GR8
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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