i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
im having a threesome with these popsicles
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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