i may or may not be watching the land before time
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
