He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
BRING THE BAGELS
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
