you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize