ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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