What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
