he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
