I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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