porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
