dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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