Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
