sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My Higher Power is John Stamos
drinking out of a sandbucket again
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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