I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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