New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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