carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
