Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
