you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Plan B is the new Plan A
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Randomize
