I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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