I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
