I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
