Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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