Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
