so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
