eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
