3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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