is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
