yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
