I'm sorry my penis didn't work
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i love accidental penises.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
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