You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
